Week 4 Story: Business Smarts and Broken Hearts
If I had known how it would all turn out, I would have just let the affair continue. Having a secretly unfaithful wife is far preferable to having an openly, brazenly, unabashedly, and now, thanks to the video, incredibly wealthy and famous unfaithful ex-wife.
About two years ago, I was informed by one of my wife's coworkers and our mutual friend that my beloved partner of five years had been cheating on me with my best friend, Richard. According to my source, Carrie and Richard had been seeing each other for several months, with Richard even hanging out at her workplace and taking her out for lunch.
My heart, needless to say, was broken. Not only had I lost the wife I had known, but I had also lost my best friend of thirteen years. Richard and I had been friends since junior year in high school and even shared the same interests, table tennis and watching people play table tennis. My heart felt like it was being beaten again and again by a STIGA Master series carbon performance-level paddle, the pain just as unbearable with each passing day. I felt empty and weightless, as vacuous as the inside of a Sportcraft ping pong ball. My thoughts bounced back and forth, from sorrow to anger and back again. Yet I had to face Carrie (and Richard, who she insisted we invite over every Sunday) day after day, week after week.
After three months of this hell had transpired, I decided that I simply could not take the pain any longer. I fashioned a plan, one that I believed to be perfect and glorious. As neither Carrie nor Richard knew that I was aware of their treachery and as Richard had given me the key to his apartment several years ago in case he ever found himself locked out at 3 in the morning after a crazy night of drinking (which it turned out to be quite frequent), I decided that nothing was stopping me from humiliating them in the best possible way.
On a Wednesday morning, after Carrie had gone to work and well after I knew Richard would be on his way to his office, I called in sick to work and drove over to the disloyal jerk's residence. After letting myself in, I worked quickly and easily, setting up a tiny camera in between two books on the bookshelf that faced Richard's bed. Richard had told me time and again how he never had time to read due to the demands of work and socializing (and making love to my wife, apparently), so I had no fear that he would stumble upon the camera before I could collect it.
After scurrying home, all I had to do was wait for the two to incriminate themselves. And after a week had passed, I was sure that the footage I needed had been captured and so again called in sick and retrieved my hidden camera.
I only had to fast forward through two hours of footage before I saw Carrie and Richard enter the room. Apparently, the affair was how they spent their lunch hours.
I edited the footage into a short montage of betrayal and prepared to execute the most brutal part of my devious plan. After compiling a list of all of Carrie and Richard's closest friends, many of whom were also friends of mine, I tracked down their emails and sent them the evidence of Carrie's infidelity and Richard's duplicity. That would show them that I, Eugene Butts, am not a man to be trifled with.
After hitting "send", I sat back and waited for the explosion of judgment and scorn I felt sure would follow. Instead of the email resulting in the heaping of humiliation upon the heads of my wife and former friend, however, it led to the worst possible outcome, one even I had never dreamed possible.
The video was shared by one of the recipients online and quickly went viral, which at first glance appears to mean that I won the war. But, alas, the video going viral spelled out my doom. Instead of Carrie and Richard being mocked, it was I who was derided and scorned by countless Youtube comments and social media posts. People called me a loser and creep for secretly filming the affair and some pondered whether any sane woman would want to be a loyal wife to a man with the last name Butts. My own last name was being held up as the reason for my wife's infidelity! As horrible as it is to have one's name and being lambasted online by millions of strangers, the worst was yet to come.
After realizing what had transpired, my wife and Richard were not even slightly disturbed or ashamed. Rather, they reveled in the attention, giving paid interviews and writing articles for various online journals, detailing their love for each other and their apparently shared disgust and hatred towards me. The so-called friends I had emailed the video to even joined in the fun, saying it was only a matter of time before Carrie moved on to bigger and better things, meaning Richard. Many even congratulated Carrie on her "upgrade" and hoped I would find someone more in my league.
Carrie wrote a book (suspiciously quickly, I might add) about the hell that had been marriage to me, titled The Life of Mrs. Butts in which she expressed deep and unabating hatred for my "obsession" with ping pong and my untoned physique which she cruelly described as "remarkably similar to a lump of dough". Evidently, Richard had only pretended to enjoy ping pong as much as me, seeing it only as an "embarrassing hobby" he picked up in high school to avoid taking gym (unbeknownst to me, table tennis counted as an extra-curricular activity and exempted one from the humiliation and torture that is high school PE).
So in the end, my efforts to exact revenge failed miserably and backfired in the most hellish manner imaginable to mankind. So while I sit here sinking further into depression by the day, my ex-wife and her lover grow rich and famous off of my misery. Such is the life of Eugene Butts.
About two years ago, I was informed by one of my wife's coworkers and our mutual friend that my beloved partner of five years had been cheating on me with my best friend, Richard. According to my source, Carrie and Richard had been seeing each other for several months, with Richard even hanging out at her workplace and taking her out for lunch.
My heart, needless to say, was broken. Not only had I lost the wife I had known, but I had also lost my best friend of thirteen years. Richard and I had been friends since junior year in high school and even shared the same interests, table tennis and watching people play table tennis. My heart felt like it was being beaten again and again by a STIGA Master series carbon performance-level paddle, the pain just as unbearable with each passing day. I felt empty and weightless, as vacuous as the inside of a Sportcraft ping pong ball. My thoughts bounced back and forth, from sorrow to anger and back again. Yet I had to face Carrie (and Richard, who she insisted we invite over every Sunday) day after day, week after week.
After three months of this hell had transpired, I decided that I simply could not take the pain any longer. I fashioned a plan, one that I believed to be perfect and glorious. As neither Carrie nor Richard knew that I was aware of their treachery and as Richard had given me the key to his apartment several years ago in case he ever found himself locked out at 3 in the morning after a crazy night of drinking (which it turned out to be quite frequent), I decided that nothing was stopping me from humiliating them in the best possible way.
On a Wednesday morning, after Carrie had gone to work and well after I knew Richard would be on his way to his office, I called in sick to work and drove over to the disloyal jerk's residence. After letting myself in, I worked quickly and easily, setting up a tiny camera in between two books on the bookshelf that faced Richard's bed. Richard had told me time and again how he never had time to read due to the demands of work and socializing (and making love to my wife, apparently), so I had no fear that he would stumble upon the camera before I could collect it.
After scurrying home, all I had to do was wait for the two to incriminate themselves. And after a week had passed, I was sure that the footage I needed had been captured and so again called in sick and retrieved my hidden camera.
I only had to fast forward through two hours of footage before I saw Carrie and Richard enter the room. Apparently, the affair was how they spent their lunch hours.
I edited the footage into a short montage of betrayal and prepared to execute the most brutal part of my devious plan. After compiling a list of all of Carrie and Richard's closest friends, many of whom were also friends of mine, I tracked down their emails and sent them the evidence of Carrie's infidelity and Richard's duplicity. That would show them that I, Eugene Butts, am not a man to be trifled with.
After hitting "send", I sat back and waited for the explosion of judgment and scorn I felt sure would follow. Instead of the email resulting in the heaping of humiliation upon the heads of my wife and former friend, however, it led to the worst possible outcome, one even I had never dreamed possible.
The video was shared by one of the recipients online and quickly went viral, which at first glance appears to mean that I won the war. But, alas, the video going viral spelled out my doom. Instead of Carrie and Richard being mocked, it was I who was derided and scorned by countless Youtube comments and social media posts. People called me a loser and creep for secretly filming the affair and some pondered whether any sane woman would want to be a loyal wife to a man with the last name Butts. My own last name was being held up as the reason for my wife's infidelity! As horrible as it is to have one's name and being lambasted online by millions of strangers, the worst was yet to come.
After realizing what had transpired, my wife and Richard were not even slightly disturbed or ashamed. Rather, they reveled in the attention, giving paid interviews and writing articles for various online journals, detailing their love for each other and their apparently shared disgust and hatred towards me. The so-called friends I had emailed the video to even joined in the fun, saying it was only a matter of time before Carrie moved on to bigger and better things, meaning Richard. Many even congratulated Carrie on her "upgrade" and hoped I would find someone more in my league.
Carrie wrote a book (suspiciously quickly, I might add) about the hell that had been marriage to me, titled The Life of Mrs. Butts in which she expressed deep and unabating hatred for my "obsession" with ping pong and my untoned physique which she cruelly described as "remarkably similar to a lump of dough". Evidently, Richard had only pretended to enjoy ping pong as much as me, seeing it only as an "embarrassing hobby" he picked up in high school to avoid taking gym (unbeknownst to me, table tennis counted as an extra-curricular activity and exempted one from the humiliation and torture that is high school PE).
So in the end, my efforts to exact revenge failed miserably and backfired in the most hellish manner imaginable to mankind. So while I sit here sinking further into depression by the day, my ex-wife and her lover grow rich and famous off of my misery. Such is the life of Eugene Butts.
Photo by Jesper Sehested. Source: Flickr
Author's Note:
This story is based on the tale of Venus and Mars. In this tale from Ovid's Metamorphoses, Venus cheats on her husband, Vulcan, with Mars. Vulcan is told of the affair and decides to humiliate his wife and her lover by trapping them in a fine net he forges and casts on their bed. When the lovers get tangled in the net, the other gods and goddesses laugh at them, finding the whole situation rather humorous. I decided to retell this story but in a modern setting involving mortals rather than gods.
Bibliography: Mars and Venus in Ovid's Metamorphoses, translated by Tony Kline (2000).
Bibliography: Mars and Venus in Ovid's Metamorphoses, translated by Tony Kline (2000).
Hi, Rebecca!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your modern retelling of the story of Venus and Mars! You took a somewhat realistic take on this story of betrayal and mistrust, and to be honest, I feel like this sort of story has probably happened to someone in real life before. With this story, there seem to be multiple antagonists. I like the balance of good and bad, so there is a lot of gray area and no real protagonist which keeps the story interesting.
ReplyDeleteHi Rebecca,
I loved that you based your story off of the tale of Venus and Mars. Your story was so well written it made me feel like it was a true story! Your modern take on this story involving mortals instead of god is so intriguing. I was engaged and couldn’t stop reading to see what happens next. I really enjoyed reading your story and look forward to reading more!
Hello, Rebecca!
ReplyDeleteI am going to be honest here, I never thought that I would run into a story like yours in this class! It certainly is unique! I really appreciate your approach in your modern rendition of “Mars and Venus”. Overall, I was really impressed by your writing. You did well in describing things so that the reader gets a good idea of what is occurring and what it feels like to Mr. Butts.
I am honestly quite shocked after reading the original story that inspired this. Your retelling is so original and gave me total reverse Girl in the Spider's Web vibes. Great job at making it modern, I felt like I was reading the opening of some blockbuster film. Your description of things really helps immerse the reader and the small details you include add a subtle but effective depth to everything. You're a great writer and I'm glad I got to read this story!
ReplyDeleteHi Rebecca,
ReplyDeleteI am back again to read your amazing stories. This one left me feeling very sorry for Eugene. His life had been a lie from his lvoign wife to his best friend. Poor guy! I admit it was kind of creepy that he set a camera in Richard's bedroom but he only wanted revenge. I wondered how the story would have ended if he had just outed the couple. I feel like other people would have felt bad for him and did the opposite to the couple. Sometimes, decisions lead you down an unfateful path. My only suggestion would be to add some dialogue. I would like to see how everything went down! Good job!!